Noxious Jest
by Noxic
Summary: Post COS. Ever since the last time Ed left Amestris, Roy has been responsible to make sure no one got in or out of the underground city without his knowledge. So when a blonde man is found attacking a child on the steps of a church entrance, Roy is notified. Thinking its break in a child-murder case he's investigating, he goes to the scene. Parental/friendship Roy/Ed (No OC)
1. Chapter 1

**Noxious Jest **Chapter 1

**I have no one to proof-read this fic, but myself and Microsoft word, so I apologize in advance if there are mistakes. (**Update**: I proof-read it again, and improved it). Also, I intend to make this long (I'll try and make each chapter at least 2,000 words). It will be a multi-chapter story.**

**I'm new to writing on Fanfiction so please be nice ;)**

**Warnings: [For whole Fic]**

**LOTS of angst (more to come), character death, parental Roy/Ed (Nothing stupid, I promise.), torture, gore, graphic violent scenes, depression and so on…(I WON'T warn each chapter to prevent spoilers)**

**Disclaimer: **_**I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Copyright ©2003-2005 Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix, MBS, ANX, BONES, Dentsu.**_

_**Copyright ©2003-2005 PhoenixNetworks, LLC. All rights reserved.**_

_**Infringement is not intended upon any of these people and/or companies; this is purely for personal entertainment.**_

**This takes place three years after 'Conquer of Shamballa' in the 2003 Anime. **

**Edward POV**

Edward ran. His heavy feet were dragging him as fast as they could, out into the streets of the ancient city. He was panting and his head was swimming. At the moment all he could do was avoid running into a something as he fled.

His feet scraped and clanked loudly with each step, thoughts were all focused on his escape. Multiple minor wounds ached in protest to his movements.

He could slightly recall an exit from the underground city ahead, and ran towards it.

Behind him, he heard the shuffling of small legs in a dead run.

Terror seized him, and for a moment he froze, but years of battle experience helped him overcome it.

He hopped up to the stairs. Finding a few rotting beams lying around, he clapped his mismatched hands. Circles flew through his mind as he shoved his hands atop it.

The Art of Alchemy gave him a short euphoric high. Not using alchemy for three years left him feeling empty in a sort of withdrawl. The shuffling grew louder. A flash of blue later, a wall of wood formed, blocking the entrance to the stairs.

A muffled yell was heard on the other side. Ignoring it, Ed fled up the stairs in a rapid pace. He grit his teeth, when an ache in his thighs grew, but didn't lessen his pace. The adrenalin gratefully dulled the pain of his more serious wounds.

Behind him, a transmutation was heard, and the short steps proceeded swiftly. He heard a curse from his pursuer. He chuckled.

Ed continued to scurry his way up without tripping. Tripping now would surely be the death of him.

They were now nearing the surface. Ed clapped his hands in preparation. The top of the stairs were now visible. He could make out a blocked entrance. By the looks of it made of rock. He conjured a suitable circle, made universally for all solids, and transmuted an entrance.

Clouded daylight hit him like a brick wall. His eyes took a moment to adjust, and he hesitated.

Hands clapped behind him. Ed jolted, turning to block the short figure with an automail leg. Small hands caught it, putting the weight of the kick on the small body. The transmutation passed through Ed's automail. The child pushed the leg away and jumped back to avoid the rebound.

They paused and the child smiled, her eyes narrowed. (A/N: Not an OC)

"Why Edward, you're such a misbehaving child. Hoenheim would be appalled." The youth's high-pitch voice contradicted harshly with her mocking tone.

Ed felt all of his hate toward her bubble and sizzle up to the surface. He growled, spiting in her face in an uncharacteristic display of disgust.

The smile never left her face. She raised a hand to wipe the spit off. Ed took this opportunity to charge forward. Not having time to transform his arm into a sword, he made do with a metal fist.

Her eyes narrowed. She dodged just in time to avoid a punch in the face, but instead received one on her left shoulder. The weight of the punch knocked her on her back a few feet away. She eyed him venomously from her spot on the floor writhing in the pain.

Ed finally transformed his arm into a pointed blade, and advanced towards her.

She clapped her hands. The church lit up. A rock cube spiked up and hit Ed before he could dodge. He went flying into an old wooden church bench, making it crack under his weight and splinter out.

He groaned, trying to get up, but the child appeared before him, pinning him down. She was incredibly strong for her deceiving ten-year old body. She held a long rusted metal screw, which she swung at him.

After being concussed several times in his lifetime, he should have known better than to try and grab her arm. He missed her, and the nail dug ferociously into the flesh of his upper left arm.

He let out a scream through gritted teeth. Blood gushed out of the wound. The pain flared up in his arm and traveled like lightning through this arm and down his spine. Pain consumed thoughts made him kick violently at the child. Much to his satisfaction, it hit her some-what. But the victory was short-lived, for she recovered quickly, transmuting a dagger.

Again the church lit up in the blue hue of alchemy.

The nail still deeply embedded in his arm was bleeding with concerning speed. He tried moving his elbow, but reconsidered. Deeming his left arm useless, he overcame his pain for the moment to dodge a swipe from the child's dagger.

They fought savagely. Not much unlike two wounded animals, sparring to the death. He clapped and spikes protruded towards her. She clapped and the spikes change direction. Ed dodged and materialized his trademark spear. She jumped under the cover of the wooden benches, using her small size to her advantage.

The child grinned when Ed kneeled behind a bench. She clapped her hands against the bench across from her, making them explode. He dodged and rolled behind a table.

She briefly exposed herself from the benches and he took the opportunity to swipe at her with his spear. It cut shallowly but she barely got out of the way.

This time she clapped her hands against the floor. An immense animated stone snake emerged. Naturally it hissed and dived at him.

Ed staggered backwards onto his feet. Finding the exit with his eyes, he attempted to flee. With only one working arm, his chances of winning were slim. The snake crashed besides him, making him nearly trip over it. With any other opponent maybe, but not someone with hundreds of years more experience in alchemy than he.

The child laughed, and followed after him.

Now they were mere inches from the door.

She lunged at him and Ed swung, moving his body instinctively away from her reach. She got slashed lightly on the chest.

She winced, but otherwise it didn't affect her. She slashed backwards at him, jumping forward to get within range of him. Ed blocked with his automail arm and leaned away, back against the double doors of the church.

The child smirked, using this opportunity to reveal a long nail hidden under her left sleeve. Right hand occupied, and left compromised, Ed could only watch in horror as the nail came closer, both his arms compromised.

Aimed for his heart.

Suddenly the lock shutting the old church doors closed cracked under the combined weight of Ed and the force of the child pressing him against it. The doors burst open. Ed fell backward, the child following after him in a tumble.

They were now in broad daylight on the steps of the Church entrance to The Underground City of Xerxes.

_In Central._

It became apparent that the nail avoided Ed completely. Yet it was still gripped tightly in the small hand of the child. Her furious eyes found his from her position atop him. She attempted to re-stab him, but Ed was quicker this time. She was hit point-blank with his automail blade.

She gave a high pitch scream.

_The scream of a child._

Her blood dripped down his arm, and spattered onto his shirt. He shoved her off him, unconcerned with her pained yelp. He looked down at her in disgust.

There was a terrible gash sliced deeply into her arm. She tried stopping it by holding the wound with her other hand. The blood polluted her hair.

He was repulsed when he noticed she was crying. Eyes were barely visibly in tears or pain.

She was curled up over her injury when Ed approached her. She tried desperately to scramble away from him.

'The things this woman will do to stay alive.' It astounded him.

Ed could hear her whimper as he slowly lifted his automail blade.

This was it. Finally he would get the justice he deserved.

A shot rang out.

**The girl is NOT an OC, she is a canon character. I'll explain soon.**

This is not AU and it doesn't have any annoying Mary Sue OCs. The only OCs you will see are all antagonists, or people who make excellent plot devices…

**Coming up next …**

Who is this mysterious girl?

Where the hell is Mustang?!

Why is Ed in Amestris?

Where is Al?

Thanks for reading! Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Noxious Jest**- Chapter 2

**UPDATE**- I fixed grammar mistakes and made it more in character over all. It's been half a year since I last updated so I had to improve my writing to match the newer stuff. Overall not my best, I like the next chapter much more.

**Thank-you for the reviews, faves, and follows, I practically live off of them (They are my drive to making chapters on time XD)! I honestly wasn't expecting this much feedback. I love all of them, even the short "I like it." ones! You guys are great, I hope I won't disappoint ;).**

**Things you should know: Not all is what it seems, and that all will be explained soon so for those of you confused I apologize. I will explain every detail, down to Roy's mismatched eyes ;)~~~~~Also, I don't have a beta-reader, so I'm the only one that is proof-reading this so it may have a few mistakes, I normally re-read it the next day and improve it, but I try to avoid that because I end up re-writing everything and end up unsatisfied…heh**

**Things to expect: **Roy POV this chapter and it sadly has no Ed in it…yet. It's a bit of a background chapter and its pretty short (2000 words).

**Warnings: None for this I think...**

**Disclaimer:**_** I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Copyright ©2003-2005 Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix, MBS, ANX, BONES, Dentsu.**_

_**Copyright ©2003-2005 PhoenixNetworks, LLC. All rights reserved.**_

_**Infringement is not intended upon any of these people and/or companies; this is purely for personal entertainment.**_

Mustang sighed for the thirtieth time as he repetitively signed away papers. Hawkeye was as dedicated as ever at not letting him slack.

She was perched at her desk outside his office as usual, organizing paperwork and keeping an_ eye _on her co-workers.

She really was the only competent one out of all of them.

Realizing where the rest of his thoughts would lead he stopped thinking and continued signing papers. The stack on his desk shrunk too slowly for his liking. As much as he liked procrastinating, he didn't want to stay in the office too long.

It was common knowledge that the military building was an uncomfortable place to spend the night finishing work. Simply because if your superiors felt it was time to have a friendly chat, you had no excuse to escape.

Roy's diligent writing was interrupted by the shrill of the office phone ringing. He made a grab for the phone, but Hawkeye beat him to it. Disappointed, he forced himself to smother his curiosity and wait.

The phone didn't ring often enough. He sulked. At least when Hughes was alive, he would call Roy every chance he could. Now the office was silent most of the day, leaving them with nothing but work to do.

Sure enough, he heard Hawkeye's sharp footsteps approach his door. He piped up, making a scramble to appear productive.

She tapped his door briefly before opening and peaking her head into the room.

The colonel was sitting with a dramatically concentrated look on his face, clutching his pen mid-motion on a document.

Riza sighed.

"Colonel, it's a call from sector-9. He says it's important,"

He raised his head and looked at her with feigned boredom and motioned for the phone.

He stood coolly from his seat and strode over to her, where she held out a phone to him.

Roy tucked the phone onto his ear.

"Colonel Roy mustang speaking,"

'_Colonel_' he mused. It felt just like old times. Before everything. He used to be a Brigadier General, but dropped everything, his title and his rank after the assasianation.

"Sir, I was told to call you if I noticed anything strange in my sector. I'm noticing flashes of blue in the abandoned church by my post. I'm not sure if it's just some kids pulling pranks or something, but whoever it is, is causing a real commotion in there."

Roy's blood went cold.

_Flashes of blue? An Alchemist?_

He shook himself back to reality. Annoyed that he was jumping to conclusions

"Did you check and see?"

There was a pause behind the phone.

'Incompetent soldiers these days, couldn't they think for themselves?' Roy had an urge to face-palm.

Roy signed "I didn't think so. Now go and check it out. In the future, I expect you to report to me _after _you have done so."

The man managed a meek "Yes sir" and hung up.

Mustang set the phone down onto the receiver and turned to his lieutenant. Her eyes met his.

"Anything of importance, sir?"

Roy's eye twitched slightly. She smirked at his comical expression.

She knew better than the both of them that it was unimportant, she was only asking in hopes to irk Mustang.

Which she succeeded in, as always.

"Ever since I have been burdened the responsibility of monitoring the exits to the underground city, all I've been given are novices. The government should take this more seriously. After all, the underground city was the cause of the Central Massacre was it not?"

Roy remembered that day clearly. To come back from his post in the north after two years, and find his home ravaged in such a way brought him back to life. He took up his position once more as a military leader and barked orders at the troops. They followed him without protest, recognizing a commanding officer by tone.

That was the day he saw a ghost. He was never a man of religion, but he saw a dead man in flesh. And somehow, at that moment, he realized that he never thought this man to be dead to begin with.

Edward Elric. He didn't stay long enough to answer the countless questions in store for him. But that was all the same. Mustang always suspected Edward would be a mysterious man, It was fitting. Edward had been mysterious, even as a child. The things he had seen that faithful day remained a secret, but Roy knew the boy had seen things beyond his understanding. Mustang never brought the topic of his human transmutation with Fullmetal. They respected each other too much to go digging in one another's pasts.

"Furthermore, the Underground city is a liability to Amestris. I don't think the Assembly understands that their capitol is basically sitting on top of hollow cavity. What do think the enemy, Drachma, would do if they knew this?!" Mustang continued, slamming his hand down audibly on his desk.

Hawkeye interrupted his thoughts with a quick nod.

"Yes, the new government has been neglecting to supply us properly. They are quite troublesome."

She sighed in annoyance and brushed past him, back to her desk.

"Roy, I suggest you get back to work." She glanced at him, but from her tone Mustang could tell she wasn't playing.

He was halfway through a document when the phone rang again. He paused, turning to face her desk once more.

Hawkeye brought the phone up to her ear and listened.

Her face turned solemn.

"Calm down. What did you see?" she said sternly.

There was a pause then, "A man attacking a child?!" she exclaimed

He was at her desk in a moment, yanking the phone from her hand.

"What did he look like?"

The soldier paused, seeming to be confused at the deeper voice but answered briskly.

"He had blonde hair, but I wouldn't make anything else out. He and the girl were covered in dirt. They were getting close to me so I had to retreat. It was alchemy. None like have ever seen before. The place is almost unrecognizable now; they did a number on the church."

_Blond hair?_

"Roy," Riza was looking at him, coming to the same conclusion as he. "Do you think it's our culprit?"

Mustang's mismatched eyes narrowed.

"Yes." The soldier said slowly, hesitating to believe his fortune.

Mustang turned back to the phone.

"We will be arriving with backup soon. Stay close by but out of sight until then. Do not engage the target."

Roy was investigating a child-murder case for the last three years; the murders were done by alchemy so they fell under his jurisdiction as an alchemist high up in the food chain. The culprit left no finger prints, which was an achievement considering alchemists use chalk for their transmutations. The circles were too complex to fathom, even with his expertise. It was anyone's guess what it was used for. Roy spent months in the library researching ancient glyph and symbols to put it together, but simply couldn't find enough information to read it. He got more luck with the underground city's library, though few books remained. He did successfully identify the ancient Xerxian symbol for soul.

It was stressful. Riza recommended that he take a break from the case, but Roy couldn't. Not with the lives of children at risk. He didn't want to see another child die in front of him ever again. The military let the bastard get away with murder for far too long. The investigation was hitting a dead end.

It was always the same. A child went missing, then a few months later was found dead and sliced in half. Bellow the body was always a complex array, one that rarely changed. In exchange another child was kidnapped at the scene. This went on repeatedly every few months. Only now it seemed that the intervals in between were getting shorter and shorter.

Interestingly, the children had no signs of mistreatment. They were well fed, nourished, and taken care of. Almost as if they were in consent of being kidnapped. The victims were never bound or punished. There was also no sign of struggle. Roy shortly considered the possibility of hypnosis, but discarded it after a thought.

The victims were all girls, suggesting either a pedophiliac or a criminal with a grudge. The children were never harmed, and no evidence suggested sexual abuse so he wasn't so sure about the former.

Never the less, the bodies were brutally carved up. To the point where one of the forensic crew members threw up. In his defense he claimed that they were not used to seeing victims this young endure such brutality.

Whoever could possibly do something like that was a disgusting human being.

_You did it in Ishvvaaaaal…_

Mustang stiffened. No, he was forced into that, while his man was doing it out of pleasure.

Although, how forced he was could be debatable.

But despite his defense, in Roy's mind remained the faint reminder that he too was a disgusting human being.

Roy buried those thoughts deep within himself in hopes that he would forget, but his efforts were futile.

He would never forget.

That is why Roy wanted to catch that bastard alive and make him pay for his sins.

With a vengeful smile he left to grab his coat, listening to Hawkeye as she barked at the crew to behave while they were gone.

**The next chapter is massive. I felt bad for not updating in a while so I made it 5000+ words. I think I may split it up.**

**Ahhhhh I love writing this, it's what I've been looking forward to all day! YAY! Next chapter you get the heavy stuff ~lucky you! 3 You **_**are**_** here for angst in the first place, so I'll gladly give you some ;) sOon. Mwahahahahahah!**

**Coming up…**

**Where is Al?**

**Why is Ed in Central?**

**Who is that crazy girl?**

**Why is Ed attaching a child?**

**Why was there a shot?**

**~Read and Review! I encourage Guests to do so too. Come on don't be shyyyyy ;) You'll make my day! 3 Just a simple "I like" or "I hate" would suffice. ^^**


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